Days Gone By - stories from the past

MONDAY MUSINGS: Humor was still around after the Civil War

Times were hard after the Civil War, but people still kept their sense of humor. Here are some humorous and ridiculous tips for life from 1868


Transcribed from The Shelby Guide, Columbiana, Alabama May 7, 1868

PRACTICAL AND USEFUL RECEIPTS

  • To remove freckles cut them out with a razor and throw them away! They will never return.
  • To bring out a mustache, tie it to a strong string twenty feet long, to the other end of which attach a heavy smoothing iron and throw the latter from a fourth story window.
  • To procure a fair complexion, go to sea in a crazy old boat, and the first gale you get into your face will turn white.
  • To get rid of red hair, hold your head for a few minutes in a strong blaze of gas.
  • To preserve your eyes, put them in a bottle filled with alcohol.
  • To conceal bad teeth, keep your mouth shut.
  • To keep out of debt, acquire the reputation of a rascal, and none will trust you.
  • To become a competent bookkeeper, borrow all the books you can and never return them.

  • To “raise the stamps,” say a funny thing on the stage.
  • To keep your doors from being broken open by burglars, don’t close them.
  • To keep out of a fight, stay by yourself.
  • To keep from stuttering, don’t talk at all.

ALABAMA FOOTPRINTS Confrontation:: Lost & Forgotten Stories

Prior to statehood, Alabama was a vast wilderness with a large Native American population. It is only natural that when new immigrants from other states arrived, conflicts over the land would arise. Soon, these small conflicts exploded into war.

Alabama Footprints Confrontation is a collection of lost and forgotten stories that reveals why and how the confrontation between the Native American population and settlers developed into the Creek-Indian War as well as stories of the bravery and heroism of participants from both sides.
Some stores include:

  • Tecumseh Causes Earthquake
  • Terrified Settlers Abandon Farms
  • Survivor Stories From Fort Mims Massacre
  • Hillabee Massacre
  • Threat of Starvation Men Turn To Mutiny
  • Red Eagle After The War

 Join Amazon Kindle Unlimited 30-Day Free Trial and read this book for Free!

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About Donna R Causey

Donna R. Causey, resident of Alabama, was a teacher in the public school system for twenty years. When she retired, Donna found time to focus on her lifetime passion for historical writing. She developed the websites www.alabamapioneers and www.daysgoneby.me All her books can be purchased at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble. She has authored numerous genealogy books. RIBBON OF LOVE: A Novel Of Colonial America (TAPESTRY OF LOVE) is her first novel in the Tapestry of Love about her family where she uses actual characters, facts, dates and places to create a story about life as it might have happened in colonial Virginia. Faith and Courage: Tapestry of Love (Volume 2) is the second book and the third FreeHearts: A Novel of Colonial America (Book 3 in the Tapestry of Love Series) Discordance: The Cottinghams (Volume 1) is the continuation of the story. . For a complete list of books, visit Donna R Causey

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2 comments

  1. When I was a teen my grandpa told me to help grow a mustache one should put molasses on the outside of the upper lip and chicken manure on the inside. He said that the chicken manure would push and the molasses would pull. Thus speeding the process for a young fellow wishing to grow and nice mustache!

  2. I once heard my Grandpa’s brother Uncle Roy make the statement that “if you put soap on a nail you could then drive it thru a mirror. “

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