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Strange advertisement? in Cullman, Alabama newspaper of 1884


Five Thousand Dollars Reward

(Note – Transcribed as written)

(Excerpt from The Cullman Tribune, Cullman, Alabama, January 11, 1884)

This cash will be paid in coon skins, possum hides or other produce to be collected at or about next camp-meeting, or thereafter, by any one what catches him; for a young man missing from your place in the next few days. Some have said that he is red-headed, cross-eyed, humpbacked, knockkneed, whopper-jawed and pigeon-toed, and that he had a tin ear and gutta-percha nose. This is not correct. He is tall complexioned, about 5 inches, 4 feet of age, square countennance, pleasant shoulders, and his height 34 years and 15 months. Had on when last seen a pair of swallow-tailed, seal-skin pants with sausage stripes and cylinder-escapement seat, double-barrelled frock coat, slightly run down at the heel; usually wore a smile on the back of his head and a slight impediment in his look if met in the dark. He wears a ‘Grecian Bend” on his upper lip, and whiskers cut off short inside. Was carrying an empty carpet-bag filled with post holes and wheelbarrow seeds in each hand, and a wooden bag in the other, containing nothing but a few ocean steamers, railway tunnels, needle molds, shirt collars and other things. Usually wore a high-heeled, square-toed plug hat, and low-crowned, broad-brimmed, double back action, stem-winding, cables scrwed boots. Was born before his young brother and is therefore, about your age. He was often heard singing:

I’m my daddy’s only son,

Gay and lively, full of fun.

Brother is twice as old as me.

So we are twins, you plainly see.

Any one giving such information as will learn him where he is will be prosecuted as the law directs. He was supposed at first to have gone off on his ear, but this was a mistake. Since the above was written his friends have learned to their delight that he has been employed for over a year by J. H. KARTER of CULLMAN, ALA. selling goods, and is delighted with his occupation, and hopes to see you there soon to sell you some of those Matelless (?) Bargains.

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